Project X is not the worst film I have ever seen and only because it is not a film. There is no story, no character development, no directions and literally no point. Apart of course from the point of making an awful lot of money for a very little money spent.
I would love to analyse Project X’s awfulness but because it’s not even trying to be anything, it makes my job impossible. I believe that the people appearing in closing credits as film crew, didn’t actually take part in making this movie, but instead have had their families kidnapped and that’s the only reason why they let Warner Bros. release project X under their names. Poor souls. Their reputation will never be restored.
So, you probably wonder, what DOESN”T make Project X a film? Have you seen the trailer for it? No? Well, here it is. The
whole movie trailer for what is I guess, a teenage version of hangover:
And that’s it. There’s nothing more to this movie. And when I mean, nothing more, I really don’t mean- there is some sort of subplot going behind it. There’s nothing. Nada. Just a party that we weren’t invited to. I don’t know how fun it sounds to you, but to me, watching a crappy camera recording of some strangers partying is not really the type of entertainment I want to devote myself into. I’d rather have a party myself, especially because one portrayed in Project X is pretty horrible…and here is my main concern and the main source of hatred towards this project from hell.
let’s hope parents don’t find out
If Project X was just some sort of undirected, pointless and completely rubbish footage of what “the filmmakers” call ‘the most epic party’, I wouldn’t mind remaining completely numb towards it. Although I hate sounding moralising, this is the perfect moment to reveal this demagogue side of me along with my feministic side (which I had no idea existed), my adult side and my sober side. I feel physically disgusted by the portrayal of teenagers, family relations, friendships and relationships in this film. Shame on you, whoever stands behind it, shame on you.
maybe this film can be enjoyed in the state shown above
The ‘epic’ party takes place at Thomas’ house who in order to become popular and lose his virginity entrusts his two friends in organising it. The plan gets out of control when an open invitation appears on the craiglist and from the agreed number of 50 people, the house somehow manages to hold 2000. Of course, people start getting drunk and high and soon everything is completely destroyed including a car, which gets to be driven into a swimming pool and the house, which is literally burnt down. The whole neighbourhood is being rioted and the party gets on the news. Does at least Thomas get laid for this horrendous price? No. He actually loses his best friend which is supposedly the love of his life (if this sounds like a kind of script to you, then trust me, getting this information from this cinematic mess was almost impossible). Finally, after more than an hour of suffering, the police ends the party and our heroes (it makes me feel dirty calling them that) have to face the consequences.
So…what are the consequences of this disaster? Is Thomas going to jail since he is officially an adult now? Are his parents going to kill him because I would? Will he be expelled from school? Grounded? Anything?
Well, of course not. First of all, his friends LEAVE HIM TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING ON HIS OWN AND HE IS OK WITH IT. What kind of asshole friends would do that? If they did in my words, it would be the last time they ever saw me. Secondly, HIS DAD IS PROUD OF HIM because he was afraid that his son was a loser and didn’t have any friends. Well, Mr Dad, actually, HE DOESN’T. This whole party was filled with some people from craiglist that have no idea who Thomas was. And what happened to the love of his life, who caught him in bed with another girl? SHE FORGIVES HIM no problem, without even discussing anything. The only problem is, now that his parents are in total debt because THEIR HOUSE WAS BURNT DOWN AND THEY HAVE NO PLACE TO LIVE, Thomas won’t be able to afford college. But, fuck college, man, the party was epic, right..right?