First of all, I don’t want to offend anyone. I never do. If my reviews often seem too agressive, I hope they never come up as personal, because at the end of the day, no matter how bad the film is, I respect the people behind it. Yes, some of them are sell-outs doing nothing for ridiculous money they earn from product placement, but others actually do work on the set, no matter how awful the result is. And no, I’m not making this statement because Tokarev (or Rage? or Tokarev? What the hell is the actual title) is such a bad film. It is worse than I thought. But it proves one thing: without directions, without one dose of sanity in the script and without equipment and locations that would respond to this ridiculous script- you can still have a product called a film. As long as Nicolas Cage is in it.
Because why? This is all you will be thinking throughout Tokarev. There’s just so much happening and yet nothing, nothing at all makes any sense. Yes, the blurb says that it’s about Dave or Kevin or whatever random name Nicolas Cage is playing (John?) who goes on rampage after his daughter gets kidnapped and killed but soon you will realise that this is just a very basic version of what is actually happening on the screen. Yes, Nicolas Cage does play a father of a girl, but even twenty minutes before Tokarev ended I had no idea what his job was. I mean, it’s not that important to know where our main guy works, but it would help since I think we can kind of understand why he would have an access to some sort of criminal background. And by I don’t know where he works I mean:
is he a businessman?
is he mafia?
is he a mere?
is he a bodyguard?
is he a banker?
I mean, seriously, who is he?
Either way, he cares and he doesn’t care about his daughter. It’s hard to tell. Firstly, he kind of asked for what happened to him. He goes out with his girlfriend who acts so badly at some point I thought she must be the villain pretending to be good. But no. She was just acting really badly. So he goes out with his girlfriend leaving the daughter with two male friends. Hmmm…I don’t know if the daughter is eighteen but the situation already suggests that there might be drinking and drugs involved, so Nic, maybe you should reconsider leaving her alone…oh what the hell. He leaves, she stays and when he’s back, the daughter is gone. The kindppers took her, say the traumatised boys.
Cage gets his cool leather jacket on and decides to search for her. When the daughter is finally found, she’s dead. But Cage doesn’t sleep. He asks two friends? brothers? for help and they first visit some random black kid who lives in a deserted building taking drugs with some girl? So why would he have anything to do with this whole thing? I don’t know, it’s never explained. The film spends some minutes showing us these brothers or friends of Cage trying to get some information out from the kid but of course he doesn’t even know what month it is, so they leave him be. Hmmm…so this scene was completely pointless, right?
I guess because his daughter was shot with a tokarev, Cage decides to go after Russian mafia or is it just because Russian mafia is always the villain in bad American action movies from the late 90s early 00s? The film says, well Cage once killed someone brother so maybe they now revenge on him by killing his daughter. I don’t know, either way they are all very persuaded that it’s the Russians that killed her, so Cage runs around deserted warehouses in the middle of alotment fields, shouts at random in a very Cagy manner and shots people in the head leaving no drop of blood.
Nothing, nothing is predictable in Tokarev. It might be the most cliche action film of all times but at the same time nothing makes any sense, so every scene comes as a complete surprise. There’s no consequences of actions. No night and day, the geography of the film is all over the place and there’s a lot of just running around/driving around for no particular reason at all. It is chaos shot with a Cannon camera I presume. The quality of the picture is so low it looks like an amateur film. And behind this camera is Andrzej Sekula- it’s as abstract as it seems.
And the ending is not a twist in the story. It’s a complete change of the script. It’s as if you were watching the Lord of the Rings and the last scene was the last scene from Star Wars or something. It’s so random and out of place.
I understand Nicolas Cage is in a big debt of some sort and that’s why he keeps making these movies, but Tokarev is the worst yet. It qualifies as a Sunday afternoon lazy entertainment on a tv channel you never watch. It’s the worst.