Have you ever seen a film so bad that when it came to describing it to your friends, it simply was impossible to express the cinematic trauma you went through because no dictionary created adjectives strong enough to emphasise the horror of it? If you haven’t seen one like that yet, then feel free to go to cinema and watch Joyful Noise- a very disturbing feature about Queen Latifah doing the stereotypica ‘na-ah’ faces and Dolly Parton singing endlessly cheesy songs while dancing in the moonlight with her dead husband. There is also an Asian who dies after having sex with a gospel singer, a boy with Aspergers’ syndrom singing about loving a stripper, and a girl who goes out with a boy although there is no chemistry between them whatsoever.
I wish I could tell you how bad Joyful Noise is, but I’d rather recommend you actually go and see it yourself. It is like the Room. But with God in it…although I fear that God left cinema long time ago…
Not only is it a great day to eat some chocolate eggs, but it also is a shockingly good week for new trailers, just because there are two that completely blew my mind. One, because I ignored it last week and it turned out to be the most interesting trailer of last week (that’s why I’m posting it here, a little later than everyone else, but it still got a separate post some days ago, so you shouldn’t complain). The other trailer amazed me purely because it turned out to be real. It is not a spoof, it is actually a trailer for a film that WILL come out and it’s not just a nice joke. It is real. So with this knowledge, let us look at this week’s most exciting trailers:
1. Safety Not Guaranteed
As I have said before, because of ignoring this trailer last week, I have already wrote about it few days after it was released, but to give it justice, I want to emphasise its greatness once again. this looks amazing! And I will definitely watch it! Even if I don’t get a press screening.
It is based on a true ad that appeared some years ago in a newspaper, but because the story of what happened next wasn’t very clear or remained completely mysterious, the creators of Safety Not Guaranteed decided to…well, what the creators should do…get creative and seems like they succeeded in the field of uniqueness and mind-blowness. A must.
OH.MY.GOD. This film is real and it will come out and it might be the most amazing project I’ve seen since the announcement of Prometheus. Damn, Prometheus doesn’t look THAT exciting. Mark Wahlberg who ACTS? A bear who smokes weed? A bear who speaks in a voice of SETH MACFARLANE? Jesus, it simply can’t get better than this!
3. 7 Days in Havana
Continuing Paris Je T’aime project, 7 Days in Havana is a film containing 7 different stories directed by 7 different directors including Emir Kusturica, Benicio del Toro and Gaspar Noe. Whatever happens, I believe just for the names themselves, it’s worth a watch. Also, for the fans of Journey 2 and the Hunger Games, it has the spoiled brat in it.